New Moby Dick to become a special effects bonanza

Universal Pictures is planning yet another adaptation of Herman Melville’s classic 1851 novel Moby Dick, and are looking to take it the brainless summer blockbuster route with Russian-Kazakh director Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) at the helm. What’s more, the story will be modernized and robbed of its point.

Gone is the first-person narration by the young seaman Ishmael, who observes how Ahab’s obsession with killing the great white whale overwhelms his good judgment as captain.

This change will allow them to depict the whale’s decimation of other ships prior to its encounter with Ahab’s Pequod, and Ahab will be depicted more as a charismatic leader than a brooding obsessive.

The screenwriting duo responsible for this rape are the illustrious Adam Cooper & Bill Collage (Accepted). Meanwhile, Melville is rolling over in his grave and Michael Bay (Transformers) is wondering whether they’ll finally let him film John Steinbeck’s East Of Eden the way it was “meant to be seen”. No word on whether noted whale lover Hayden Panettiere (NBC’s Heroes) is already boycotiing the film.

Fun Fact: Techno musician Moby is in fact Herman Melville’s great-great-great-grandnephew.

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